FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

No, it’s not my birthday. I know I usually pick up blogging for a day around my birthdays.

No, it's just a wave of nostalgia that's flooded my mind with words. 

Words strong enough, for once, to force myself to sit and write them down. 

I've been stuck lately. It's a weird, unpleasant feeling. I've heard of people talking about what it's like being in one, but I've never understood. I've never been stuck. At least, not this long, not this - weird.

  
But maybe finally sitting down and writing after years of dormancy is my way out. Starting with today's word-gush:

Thoughts of my previous self - my past self. Who I was then and who I am now. 

It’s not a big change, unfortunately. Not enough of a difference as I would've liked to see in myself. But things have changed, nonetheless, I have changed - I can feel it. For better or for worse is yet to be decided.

Perhaps a lot more cynical, but more empathetic.

Less judgmental but more demanding.

Perhaps less trusting but still hopeful.

Less friends, but important ones.

Definitely more picky, but more realistic. (a painful combination, lemme tell ya)

Unapologetically myself but more aware.

Experienced more grief but also witnessed more miracles.

With some changes I'm more okay with than others. But it's not like I was asked permission. 

You never are. That's life. There's hurt and pain and burdens you sob under until you can't anymore. But I've also realized how much depends on me. And as much as life is out of my control, I'm still in control of myself. I'm in control of my view on life, my feelings and their control over me. 

And though it all, I'm more and more amazed and filled with more and more gratitude for my Lord's mercies and blessings.

I am truly nothing without Him. I would be lost, filled with bitter agendas. I would not have enough to sustain myself to even just be.

Wow, that was cathartic..

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FEB THRIFT HAUL // PT 2 OF 2

Welcome welcome back to the second part of my February thrift haul! With March and April dragging by, February seems ages ago. Sigh, back when we had the freedom to go wherever we wanted even if we didn't..

Like I said on my last post, I didn't thrift a lot of things this time, but I am LOVING every single item I did get. This part will have mostly accessories, since I've tried to section out all the clothing items to my first haul post (here). Keyword "mostly" because I did find a skirt I totally forgot about hiding in my closet. Well let's just start off with it then..

FIELDS AND FLOWERS SKIRT

First off, I am really enjoying myself too much naming all these, so don't mind me.

As much as I think basic colors are a must in your closet, I am always on the lookout for some pretty floral patterns here and there. And when my friend found me this super cute vintage skirt, I knew I wouldn't be upset if I didn't find anything else. The colors are dark and muted making it perfect to wear through almost all seasons, which is a plus. I'd say the only "minus" this skirt has, is that it's a bit see-through. Nothing a slip won't fix though.

J. CREW WOOL SCARF

Still can't believe I found this leopard print J. Crew scarf! My favorite thing about it is that it's 30% and 10% ALPACA. I don't know about you but I think that's pretty cool. For me, I love when clothing/accessories are made from natural materials such as wool or leather. They usually last longer and wear better.

I also just googled this scarf and found it on a second party website for $49.99, sooooo I'm going to say this is a steal.

SCARVES GALORE..

I'm pretty sure everyone questioned my sanity just a little when I started piling up a bunch of scarves onto my cart. In my defense, I did not buy them all. Do I wish I could? 100%. Just look at how pretty they are! The patterns, the fabric.. I'm in love..

Scarves are such a beautiful way to add detail into an outfit. You can use them in your hair, as a belt, on a purse, tie it around your wrist, just about anywhere! Oooo, that's a good blog post idea..

..AND MORE

And yet another continuation of my scarves. I think I'm set for a bit with all the scarves. But these two are absolutely gorgeous for the summer. Can you imagine? Soft sunlight warming you up as the light breeze gently rocks your hammock side to side..  Oh wait..

Anyway, the Eddie Bauer one actually STILL HAD THE TAG ON.

STRAW DARLINGS

I think I get that heart eyes emoji look every single time I hold this clutch, and that's probably not okay. You know that straw purse trend that went around last year? I never thought I'd join, but even if it's a little late, this is my ticket in. The detail is exceptional, and the inside is super nice. Looks like no one's ever used it. A shame, but even better for me!

I debated for a long time on whether I should get the basket or not, but I'm glad I did. I have this one and another hanging up on the wall, which totally add to the aesthetic and look of my studio. Actually they fell down again, so I have to figure out again on how to hang them without ruining the wall. I will definitely be on the lookout for a few more to add to the wall decor collection!

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Wow. As much as I love writing, it sure can be quite a bit of a struggle to make it sound very "me" in one go. I'm always trying to make it seem as though I'm talking to you and not you just reading what I wrote. Maybe I just haven't written in a bit. We'll get there! <3

Happy Easter to each and every one of you! Thank you all for reading and commenting. Makes me day every single time!

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FEB THRIFT HAUL // PT 1 OF 2

Let's talk about thrifting real quick. Thrifting has definitely become pretty trendy the last few years, and I'm really glad it has. Not only is it a sustainable way of purchasing clothing, there's also something satisfying about finding a piece that's completely different from the store duplicates and what's inside everyone's closet. It can be a lot of work sometimes, but when you find that one special, hidden gem, let tell you - it's so worth it!

I always love thrifting with my friends. Everyone finds such unique pieces for themselves, it's just really cool to see. One of my friends always finds expensive and designer items, while I on the other hand, rarely do. I do still end up with a couple of thing I really like.

So even though this haul is from way back in February, I have to show you what I got! I didn't get much this time, but I'm really happy and proud of myself with the pieces picked out. 

So what, let's goooo?

THE FANCY BLAZER

Okay, this blazer though?! Can we agree on how cute it is?? AND, it actually fits as though it was made for me. The sleeves are just a little too long and go up to the middle of my palms, but I just roll them up to have a more overall casual look. Because the blazer has a cinched in waist that flows out at the end, I try to make sure the bottoms I wear with it are a tighter fit so that the hip area doesn't look bunched up.

THE BAD BOY LEATHER JACKET

Now this, this has got to be my absolute favorite purchase made. To. This. Date. What a BABE.
One thing, it's a faux leather jacket and I'm all about real leather. But I'm going to pretend it is because it looks and feels so much like the real deal that I couldn't tell at first. We'll count that in.
This is another incredible piece that fits me so well with just slightly longer sleeves. I don't know about you, but I love this one so much and can't wait to wear it out!

THE 2COOL4SCHOOL BOMBER JACKET

Guys, I love this jacket so so much! I didn't realize how cool bomber jackets were until I had one in my hands. It's such a great style to wear during the spring and fall and makes you look effortlessly edgy. Great fit, amazing look - what's not to like here you might ask? *silent sob*
The sound the material makes, makes the hair on my arms stand. Just thinking about it makes me feel weird, ah! I don't know why I didn't realize this while shopping. I guess I wasn't thinking about it too much, but now it's just impossible for me to wear it!

I'm thinking about maybe selling it because it's a lovely piece and in such great condition. And the orange/black color combination is so pretty too! I'm so sad this isn't working for me, but maybe someone else will be able to wear it as much as it deserves.

THE KNIT SWEATER 

This American Eagle knit sweater was a last minute decision I made at the thrift store, but I'm not mad about it at all. In fact, we never have enough sweaters for our winter seasons here in Minnesota, so I'm all down for it.
I do love that this sweater has a some areas where its knitted holes are bigger, making it a little see through in all the right places; a little step up from the usual.

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I had to divide my haul into two parts so that there aren't too many photos in one post. 

Well, what's your favorite item so far?!

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2020 GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS

We're quarter into the new decade and here I am, just now blogging my 2020 goals. You know what they say though - better late then never. I should add "more positive thinking" to my list since I've got such a good start on it already.

I tried making new year resolutions before - that didn't help. I tried not making them - that didn't help either. I'm back to trying again, but now it's a little different. Looking back, I realize I haven't been making my resolutions with the intent of keeping them. Floating in that invincible "new year, new me" vibe, I thought everything was possible; until it wasn't. Until it took time, and energy, and willpower to change anything. That's when it starts to go downhill and the wait for the new year to start over begins. Man, that willpower though, gotta work on that.

Here are top five goals for 2020:

BEING INTENTIONALLY PRESENT
This one will be a challenge for sure. Putting my phone down more and picking it up less. I don't want to end up with with an empty and unfulfilled life with only myself to blame. I want to see and experience more things outside of the screen. I want to find that childhood eagerness and zest for life and revive it.

COMMUNICATE MORE
I've become terribly bad with keeping up communications with people. Friendships and relationships are work, hard work. Any relationship can whither without constant watering, and while some I didn't mind losing in the past, others I didn't realize I lost until it was too late.

OVERCOME FEAR OF FAILURE
Let me tell you how surprised I was when I noticed how much I struggle with the fear of failure. I got to the point where I would rather not do something then do it and fail. "Done is better then perfect" is my new life motto and I can't wait to overcome this.

SELF DISCIPLINE
I know I have willpower in me, but I can't remember the last thing I was so willing to change for. Until now, that is, and that's a better me. I am working on creating a 5 and a 10 year plan, and there are some very inspiring goals on there!

DOCUMENT LIFE MORE
Pictures, journaling, sketching - I want to do so much more of it! Reminiscing the past pulls the heartstrings and I'm so here for it. Happy or sad, I'll take it all.

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What's your top goal/aspiration for 2020?

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20 Things I Learned in 20 Years

Two weeks ago, I turned twenty-one and it's still so unbelievable for me. I remember wanting to be sixteen, eighteen, but twenty-one? Never thought about it. Good thing is, I didn't cry on my birthday this year like I usually do. I've decided to take a deep breath and enjoy the ride. More like, do my best to enjoy it. Let's see if we can get the cake and eat it too..

There's a quite a bit of things I learned throughout my short life, so here goes twenty of those:

1. BE YOURSELF

No, I don’t mean this in the typical cliché version. "Being yourself" shouldn’t give you an excuse to act however you want. It just means be the best you you can be while being YOU. Don't try to change who you are in essence to "fit in" into any group. Surround yourself with those that enjoy being around you. But also keep in mind..

2. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU

…and that’s okay. You’ll tire yourself out trying to please everyone. Learn to choose those who choose you. 

3. ALL IN DUE TIME

It’s important to set goals and milestones in your life, but there are things you’ll only ruin if you hurry them up.

We all have something we can’t wait to happen to us. Jumping at your first opportunities isn’t always the best choice though. Remember to pray, think it over, and only take it when it’s yours. You’ll know when you’re ready.

4. SLEEP

Okay, listen up, this is a very important one. Do yourself a favor and prioritize sleep, it is so important to both your physical and mental health. Eye bags aren’t cool, however designer they are. Put your phone away before bedtime and think about today, tomorrow, and the future. I am also preaching to myself right now. It’s called “working on it”.

5. YOUR PARENTS ARE RIGHT

Mom and dad are 99.9% always right. Honestly, the sooner you come to terms with this, the better off you’ll be. That does not mean they don’t make mistakes - they’re human too. But they know A LOT more than you do now, so team up.

6. APPRECIATE THINGS

Learn to enjoy things as they come. Whether you are going to a party or missing it, be happy where you are right now and make the most of it. A bump in the road? Try to pull through with as such positivity as you can muster. Maybe that bump had a reason for being there.

7. DON’T OVERTHINK

Please don’t do this. Overthinking doesn’t help, it only makes everything worse. 

8. DON’T PROCRASTINATE

Please don’t do this either. Not healthy. Super not healthy. Done is so much better than perfect, trust me. And whatever they say about procrastinators being more successful, yada yada, NOT. WORTH. IT. Unless you like feeling guilty and pressured all the time. You do you, sis.

9. IT’S OKAY TO FAIL

Don’t be a afraid to fail. I’ve noticed that this is actually one of the reasons I procrastinate. I’m afraid to fail. So I think if I don’t do something then I can’t fail at it, right? Wrong. If you failed, that means you started doing something. But, please, don’t only learn from your mistakes. Be a step ahead and learn from others.

10. BE KIND

Being kind is one of the most attractive qualities people can have. Really. It doesn’t have to be something big. A smile, kind word, or a helping hand is all it takes sometimes. It’s also free, so, win-win.

11. WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

This goes hand-in-hand with #10. It might take a few years, but it comes back full force. I’d hate to be on the wrong side, wouldn’t you?

12. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

You don’t get to choose how you look like, but you do choose what you do with that. There is SO much truth in how much personality affects outward appearance, so it’s always smart to work on that. The most beautiful people are not always the prettiest. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea; but when you are, you’re their favorite one. 

13. DO YOUR BEST IN EVERYTHING.

It’s important to do things you’re doing now well, no matter what it is. Learning Spanish in school? Learn it well. You might need it shall you ever be called to evangelize. Learning how to play the piano? Learn it well. You might be called to play in church. The skills you can learn right now, learn them. Well. 

14. PRAYER & FAITH

As I grow older, I understand more and more how important my faith and prayer becomes. I don’t want to even think about where I’d be if I didn’t have God. And don’t forget about how powerful prayer is. Prayer isn’t the least thing you can do, sometimes its the most you’re able too.

15. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

Friends, clothes, experiences even. Be picky. If not anywhere else, be picky here.

16. YOU BECOME THE PEOPLE YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH MOST

Be careful who you allow yourself to be around with. You can tell so much about a person by the company they keep. So even if you yourself don’t change, the way people perceive you will. You might end up losing amazing opportunities that you didn’t even know you could have.

17. FAMILY IS IMPORTANT

Family will always be there for you. No matter how upset you might be at each other at the moment, they’ll always pick you up on the side of the road if your car breaks down. Most importantly, don’t let your issues fester. Forgive and forget and move on.

18. TRUST YOUR GUT

For me “following your heart” is basically an excuse to just do whatever you wanted to do in the first place. But your gut? It knows what’s up. 

19. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT

I’m still always surprised when this works. You know how many things I received just because I asked? A lot. You know how many things I didn’t receive just because I was afraid to ask? Much more. Whether it’s your teacher, boss or whoever, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. The worst they can say is “no”.

20. BE HUMBLE

You will never lose by being humble. Humble doesn’t stumble, darlin’.

  

What do you agree/disagree with most?

And tell me one thing you learned from your life!

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Let's Style: Fall

Let’s talk fall. 

Looks like this year’s trends have brought on a lot of monochromatic and beige looks. And boy are they pretty cute - who’s with me? I’ve seen a lot of them over the summer, but I have to say I like them even better transiting into fall. There’s something about the whole fall palette look alongside beige and camel that just makes my heart skip a beat. If you know, you know.

Onto the look. 

Using camel as my color base for my longer skirt, I opted to go with a soft ivory tinted turtleneck and sheer black towards the bottom. Longer skirts seem to be coming back, and now's the perfect time to wear them. They keep your look cozy and chic, brownie points if it's got some pretty buttons.

I like to mix and match some colors once in a while too. Try incorporating similar colors throughout your outfit to keep it balanced. Little things like the warmer tones of the silk scarf and a black purse will help tie (pun unintended) your look softly together. Okay, pause right here for a sec. Let's zoom into the purse. A vintage-y, thrifted, all leather Coach purse. Um, hello!! A steal or what?! Guys, let me tell you, thrifting can find you some amazing things you wouldn't have gotten your hands on otherwise. Okay, unpause.

Let's not forget my current favorite pair of heels. These gorgeous thick kitten-heeled shoes casually tone down this outfit for any quick stroll through the city. I'm always on the lookout for heels that don't sacrifice daily comfort. Shocker, I know, but you can be feel pretty and comfortable. It's just all about finding a way - your way.

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Okay, that was scary. But this post is out now, and I'm all good. Kinda. 

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How's this fall look for you? What's your favorite item here? Let me know!

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MINI FORWARD: Well hello, good to see you here! I was surprised to hear so much positive feedback from all of you, and I’d like to thank you for the sweet and encouraging words. Here’s my promised post, I hope you like it!

I had a bunch of ideas that swirled around in my head from time to time about what to post, and I was so excited to finally write some of them down, but when I finally came around to doing it, my mind went completely and utterly blank. A total jam. 

But then I remembered all the people who voted against pairing sneakers with skirts on my Instagram poll, and I decided to show them where it’s really at. I went to my closet, looking for three outfits, from classy to dressy, that might help change your mind about the seemingly unlikely pair. I also just bought these beautiful Adidas sneakers, so I’m really excited to wear them with absolutely everything right now. In all of these outfits, the casualness of the sneakers balances everything into a more laid-back feel, which is something I make sure my style revolves around. Because who doesn't need the assurance of comfort and stability in at least one part of their lives?!

Looking back now, I see that most of my outfits are more suited for warmer weather, but can you really blame me? Minnesota is keeping us all snowed in, and it looks like it’s really intending on skipping both spring and summer this year (am I right or am I right?).

OUTFIT #1: CASUAL

This is probably my favorite one. I made monochrome key here, keeping it clean and straightforward, just to start off easy on you guys :). Pair up a simple white tee with any black skirt. My skirt is pleated, giving off a little bit of a school uniform vibe that I thought made it more interesting. But that’s it you guys, BAM. That’s really all you need, super laid back but cute all at the same time. 

You won't lose with accessories here either. If the outfit hasn’t spelled casual out before, the “bad hair day” stitching on the hat really does, but fish net socks keep the spice going in the outfit. 

OUTFIT #2: DRESSY CASUAL

With this one, the whole beauty lies in the simplicity. Take out your favorite “going out” dress and pair it up with your sneakers – an instant scale down from the dressy feel and the perfect outfit for walking about the city downtown with your friends. While this looks great just as it is, you can throw in a boater hat (see next outfit) to make it even better.

OUTFIT #3: DRESSY

This is, hands down, the most intense of the three. I pieced together a simple black pencil skirt, a flounce sleeved shirt, and a brown long vest jacket with the sneakers. I added my boater hat to top it off (get it?). While I feel like this combination is more of a love/hate type, it’s still a very workable one. The sneakers don't take away the dressiness of clothes, but only enhance it. So, if you're someone who loves street style fashion, you'll pull this off with no problem!

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Thanks for hanging around for my first post. I have to be real with you all though, it was SO awkward taking those photos. Where do I look? Who, what, am I smiling at? You'll never know.

Let me know your favorite outfit out of the three, I really want to know!

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